Sunday, December 03, 2006

Time for a Cheesecake Break

Love Asia

Director: Barbara Wong
Producer: Maggie Q
Starring: Maggie Q, Almen Wong, Lin Chi Ling, Zhou Qiao Queenie, Mayuko Kawamata, Lee Ka Hye (Kae), Aysha Bashir, Jacqueline Alblas, Yo, Grace Tagle

Yes, it’s that time again for the dreaded Asian Film Blog Sweeps and in a sordid attempt to raise the rating numbers of this blog’s readership, I am resorting to the oldest trick in the book – sex. Plus, I think after dutifully reporting on serious film content for weeks now that this blog needs to wallow in cheesecake for a while. And what better cheesecake than this DVD that I came across in Hong Kong but that is no doubt available to all healthy males across the globe. And if you have pangs of guilt for buying such a sexist trifle, you can tell yourself that you are only following the directing work of Barbara Wong Chun-chun who has previously helmed films such as “Truth or Dare: 6th Floor Rear Flat” and “Six Strong Guys”. This film will no doubt go to the head of her fine resume.

Produced and coordinated by none other than Maggie Q, this actress brings together a collection of nine models from all over Asia for a beauty shoot in various locales of Malaysia including Langkawi beach and Kuala Lumpur. The models are all leggy and lovely but my special interest was in “Her Name is Cat” Almen Wong who comes along and expresses shock that she was included with all these “fresh, young models”. Sure there are lots of scenes of these models in skimpy bikinis contorting their bodies into complicated poses that will keep their chiropractors busy for weeks, but this film goes oh so much deeper than that as it explores the complex troubled psyche of super models. In fascinating interviews with them it delves into their reflective thoughts on careers, insecurities, sex and love. It’s got to be tough at times being beautiful, young and successful and all this angst and vulnerability is on the screen for us to witness. It is just heartbreaking and inspirational at times.

What kind of a dream man are they looking for? Sweet, career minded and funny. Thankfully for most of us they all seem to agree that size doesn’t matter – in fact Queenie from China mentions that being too big can be painful though the model from Indonesia says she sure doesn’t want a “1 minute noodle”. The Japanese model Mayuko tells us confidentially that “when I don’t have a boyfriend I feel like rubbish”. I felt like crying. These are just young women – who want to make as much money as they can before they hit their expiration date. Almen being a single mom is a bit different – for those interested she is looking for a husband who is athletic, loves her kid, is funny and is attracted to her. Well, at least I fit the last requirement.

Unusual places where they have had sex – the usual – while driving (Maggie Q), on the beach, at a party, while reading the “Asian Cinema - While on the Road Blog” at an internet cafe, doing the pledge of allegiance in the oval office, center court of Wimbledon, with the Harry Potter cast, the Sultan of Brunei’s mansion, on the set of “Generation Y-Cops”, in the front row at the New York Asian Film Festival, standing in line at an Elton John concert, on the set of “Mission Impossible 3”, on the floor of the Sistine Chapel, in Grand Central during rush hour, under a table at a Mother Teresa Memorial Dinner, in front of the Mona Lisa at the Louve, on the set of “Naked Weapon” and so on. In fact pretty much everywhere except sadly on this video. Almen fesses up to doing it on a plane and not in the bathroom to which Maggie Q expresses envy as if this is her last frontier to do. And I thought it was just a spilled coke that made my seat sticky the last time I flew. Oh Almen you she little minx!

Narrating throughout with Shakespearian eloquence is Terence Yin who sounds somewhere between an ad for a 1-900 Party Line and an obscene phone call with lines like “These girls really are . . . . . picture perfect” or “You can feel the wildness in her body can’t you?”. I never thought I would say it – but stick to acting Terence.

In the end you are left with this wonderful, warm feeling of women who just want to live normal lives and would give it all away for the right man. Just the girl next door – except this one looks really good, is having lots of sex, would never give you a second look and is probably having her apartment paid for by a much older man.

Maggie Q says her dream is to make “good films – ones that really effect people”. Well, this is an inspiring start. Keep it up Maggie Q!

Later in the week a return to Shaw Sleaze with reviews of such classics as:

Starlets for Sale
Sinful Adulteress
The Stud and the Nympho
Corpse Mania
Sex Beyond the Grave

1 comment:

edmame said...

Brian, your funniest post yet. Keep it up too:-)